"My daughter tells me the drawings are becoming less political and a bit ruder, which, I assured her, is my age."
So goes the foreword to director Alan Parker's third annual Film Diary, an irreverent, occasionally scatological book-calendar that he illustrates (see adjoining sample) and publishes as a holiday gift for friends.
Critics and British Film Year are frequent targets. Other victims: actors in explicit sex scenes (". . . is my motivation subjective or objective?"), airline movies (a passenger expressing his opinion into a sickness bag), cheapie pictures ("This film is so bad I don't think they'll even sell it at the American Film Market").
Parker also culled lines from a documentary he made for Thames TV, "A Turnip Head's Guide to the British Cinema," among them: