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Single Women and Married Lovers

January 19, 1986

I think that the support group for single women with married lovers should be called "The Emotional Self Indulgence and Rationalization Group." What about the wives of those "poor" men in loveless marriages? They could use a support group, too. However, they are usually too busy taking care of their children and their homes and, in many cases, working outside the home in order to augment the family income which enables the husband to pursue his career and his mistress.

We are all role models for our children. How does the son of a self-indulgent father view his dad and his dad's girlfriend? Children have a very strong sense of honor and fair play. When these single women meet to discuss their pain, they might consider the pain they have caused others.

Every marriage has its highs and lows and does not need a third party draining emotional energy from the relationship during its times of stress. No, I am not for living lives of joyless resignation in loveless marriages. If a marriage is truly over in terms of commitment, lack of love or other problems, then let it be over before beginning a new relationship.

Whatever happened to our higher values of courage and honesty? And whatever happened to sisterhood? Do women really stand together when they allow themselves to be the other woman to the detriment of the wife at home? How very sad for us all.

NATALIE ROESCH

Huntington Beach

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