Not everybody in America is looking forward to May 25, when Hands Across America hopes to have 6 million folks linking arms nationwide, raising dollars for the homeless and the hungry. The average temp in Arizona for that date is 95.
Which prompted a piece in the Arizona Republic, headlined:
Noon on May 25?
Does Hands Across America
Own a Thermometer?
As writer Holly D. Remy put it: "Possibly every thinking Arizonan is thinking it, but not one has said it yet. So here goes: Ken Kragen has to be kidding. . . . It doesn't take a heap of gray matter to know what Phoenix is like at the end of May. It is like the inside of a pizza oven. It is so hot that snakes stick to the ground. It is certainly too hot to hold hands."
Remy suggested "fun" diversions to keep hand-holders' minds off the fact that while they are "locking fingers, their sneakers are sinking into the hot pavement." They included: "Bunny Hopping to fan those liquefying soles" and starting a rumor about a delivery from a tanker truck of lemonade "and see if the lemonade becomes a more inebriating beverage by the time the story gets to Albuquerque, N.M."