On the day Congress passes legislation weakening gun-control laws, the Southland Corp. decides to end sales of Playboy and Penthouse magazines at their convenience stores. The president of Southland is concerned about the possible link between adult magazines and crime. Jerry Falwell lauds the decision as "courageous."
This does, however, present a problem for the Southland Corp. What are they going to do with the empty shelves? I'm sure the NRA has the answer: Why should law-abiding gun owners have to suffer the inconvenience of going to gun dealers and having to encounter a restrictive waiting period? The obvious solution is for 7-Eleven stores to fill their empty adult-magazine shelves with handguns and rifles. They could even run promotions on handy accessory items such as bullets.
This would enable Southland to make up for lost sales while, at the same time, acting in a socially responsible manner that the NRA could approve of. Just ask the 292 elected representatives who voted to weaken gun control how important that is.