Mayor of Comedy The votes are in, and so is the fix. Comedian Pat Paulsen is mayor of Asti, Calif., by acclamation: his own. All five Astiites are Paulsen relatives, employees or tenants in the unincorporated Sonoma County town owned by this Harold Stassen of Hollywood. Rumor has it that the Smothers Brothers' deadpan ex-sidekick ticked off Hubert H. Humphrey when his whimsical 1968 presidential campaign on the STAG party ticket (Straight Talkin' American Government) drew real votes that H.H.H. badly needed. A winner at last, Paulsen says that his inaugural ceremony is July 3. His slogan, taken from another new Northern California mayor: "Make my hour." Shifting Gears The dernier cri for the sociopolitical butterfly: a removable bumper-sticker holder. Now, your faded Mondale sticker needn't expose you to public derision. This little gadget allows you to furl your colors and pretend to be the compleat Republican. It's the perfect item in a chameleon world of whipsaw opinions, where the last thing to change is the peeling political posture on your bumper. Thanks to the Velcro-affixed creation called "Take It Off," made by Porta Sticker of Costa Mesa, you can change the political caprice on your Caprice in a trice. Go ahead, take a stand: "Chocolate Eclairs Don't Kill People, People Kill People." Tanks for the Memories What price glory days? Folks in the desert hamlet of Chiriaco Summit (population about 50), east of Indio, want to build a museum to California native Gen. George S. Patton and his crack tank corps, which broke the panzer forces' back in North Africa. They got their training right here, in the long-gone Camp Young. Patton himself settled in for seven dusty months. The first big chunk of this museum was to have been a vintage M-47 tank. But it is stranded in Alabama until someone antes up the $6,000 postage to ship it here, a sum beyond the reach of the nonprofit group. Ditto a collection of World War II memorabilia from a Belgian man. Indio-born Margit Baldivid, the museum organizer, has been trying to raise money by "selling" bricks dedicated to soldiers--which will be used to build the monument. Says Baldivid: "You're buying a piece of military history." Solar Flair Druids do it. The ancient mystery of summer solstice is grounds for celebration, even in Northridge. Expect performances on zithers and musical saws, and dancing by Cape Breton, Balkan and French Canadian high-steppers at the Sixth Annual Summer Solstice Dulcimer and Traditional Music Festival, Friday through next Sunday at Cal State Northridge. Hurry--by the time you say it, it'll be over.