SOMEWHERE IN CALIFORNIA — The rules of the road include the following:
--All cars fail, the only question is when.
--There is no good time for a car to break down, but some times are worse than others.
--The unfamiliar noise under the hood does not go away, even if you pretend you don't hear it.
--Those little red lights on the dashboard mean something.
--They are called idiot lights, accurately.
--Most cars break down after everything is closed.
--Most cars break down in thinly populated areas.
--Presuming you find a telephone, the average wait for road service is infinity, less time off for good behavior.
--Your car's dealership went out of business two months ago and it is now a video store.