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SHORT STORIES

August 17, 1986|PATT MORRISON

Cartoon Cells The incarcerated stuffed cartoon critters at Aahs', a rare shop among the clubs and eateries on the Sunset Strip, press their noses to the store window, pleading to be saved from bruises on their little plush hides. "They don't really get beaten," scoffs store manager Keliann Kelly. "They just want sympathy." The Tasmanian Devil made them do it. A Duke in Shining Armor It was rilly, rilly bitchen of you to, like, defend our virtue, Gov. Deukmejian. When political commentator Kevin Phillips called Valley Girls "brainless" at the Western Governors' Assn. meeting in Colorado Springs, Colo., George let him have it. Phillips, contrasting American education unfavorably with the three Rs abroad, said: "In California, for example, if you start talking about the percentage of people who have had one year of higher education, and you take one of the brainless Valley Girls who spent one year at Santa Barbara majoring in surfing or something, I fail to see how that represents too much of a threat to the Japanese or Swedes or Germans." But the Duke, not missing a trick, came back in a flash: "If there are any Valley Girls at Santa Barbara, I'm sure they're very beautiful, and I'm sure they're not brainless, because they'd have to be in the top 12% of their high school class to get into the University of California at Santa Barbara." Thanks, Georgie. See you in volleyball class. Livin' the Hood Life Someone out there is getting a kick out of the California lottery--on the cheap. At least a dozen San Diego County people got brisk, official-sounding calls telling them to go to West Covina on a certain day to take a Big Spin--worth a minimum of $10,000. It was all a hoax, and unnerved lottery officials don't know whether it was a burglar's ruse or just someone who would have gotten a huge chuckle out of making Prince Albert-in-a-can telephone calls in the old days. One doubting Del Mar woman double- checked with the California Lottery Commission and found out about the fake, just in time: "I was going to rent a limo and take my friends. Can you imagine how embarrassing that would have been?" All of the Plot Lines, All of the Time Clint Eastwood--commuting to his Carmel mayoral duties from directing, producing and acting in "Heartbreak Ridge" in Vista--demonstrated to a reporter from Vista's Morning Press how he has already mastered political-speak as he described his film: "It's not a war movie, per se. It's more of a character study, along with a little comedy. It's really a love story, as well."

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