About Scott Ostler's column on Doug Flutie: The Rams don't want Flutie because he is too young. They know this because that ancient sportswriter, Homer, never wrote a thing about him. He's not mentioned by Ptolemy, either.
To the Rams, selecting a quarterback is a science: Archeology. When the Rams scout a player, they call in a guy wearing a pith helmet and carrying a trowel and whisk broom.
The Rams aren't interested in a quarterback unless the first reports on him are written in hieroglyphics.
The Rams have a line on a new guy. He is a little young by their standards. He did lead his last team to a good season, some outfit called the Macedonians. His name is Alexander.
P.S. Can I submit this for the Jim Murray write-alike contest?