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The Jerk and Other Driving Peeves

September 20, 1986

In response to Glenn Garrett's letter (Aug. 30) concerning his proposed amendments to the California Department of Motor Vehicles pamphlet, I would like to offer a few of my own.

Rule 1 (A)--Consider it your state- and God-granted right to drive 55 m.p.h. or below at all times and in any freeway lane. Forget the obsolete phrase, "Slow Traffic Keep Right." Obviously the State of California has, as evidenced by the lack of freeway signs to that effect.

(B)--Furthermore, consider it your right and duty to prevent others from proceeding at their own determined safe speed (above 55 m.p.h.). After all, this authority was granted to you with your driver's license; not just to the CHP.

Rule 2--Reverse the time-honored idea that more space be left between vehicles as speeds increase. For example, at 40 m.p.h. leave eight car lengths, at 20 m.p.h. leave 15 car lengths. In this way, if every driver complied, the morning traffic jam on the San Bernardino Freeway could stretch back to Las Vegas, giving Southern California traffic jams a place in the Guinness Book of Records.

Rule 3--Whenever something unusual occurs on the freeway shoulder, such as someone changing a tire, feel free to slow down to a crawl to satisfy your curiosity. This applies even if the problem occurs on the opposite side of the road.

Rule 4--Always drive as if the freeways were built for sightseeing, not for getting from Point A to Point B in the shortest possible time. To hell with those who have someplace to go, and must be there at a certain time.

Welcome to the real Southern California driving experience!



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