To Steve Harvey:
The Dartmouth College alumni in the Los Angeles area are perplexed and miffed by your continued exclusion of our football team from the Bottom Ten rankings. To what can we attribute this lack of recognition?
Our team has certainly distinguished itself on the playing field, posting a perfect 0-5 record so far. While doing so, we have relinquished more than 44 points per game, and our average margin of defeat is 34 points--placing us among the national leaders in both statistical categories.
True, we don't fit many of the traditional off-the-field criteria of Bottom Ten teams. Dartmouth has never been found in violation of NCAA recruiting rules, nor have Gerry Faust and Ted Tollner coached there. However, these deficiencies should be overlooked in light of our being the only team in America without a nickname (for years the alumni and trustees have battled over replacing the Indian) or a head coach (ours was fired at the end of last season, only to be reinstated by the courts for the final year of his contract).
Not in the Bottom Ten? C'mon, Steve. WE'RE NO. 1!