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On the Lack of Commitment

July 26, 1987

Paul Ciotti should also do the other side as well ("Lite Romance," June 14). I have met women who say the same things or act the same way that men do. There seems to be so much uncertainty and fear of getting hurt that both sexes just are not willing to take the time to try and get to know each other; and at the same time, neither wishes to stick it out together, since they believe or feel that it is not worth the time or effort. Many times people are not even sure what type of person would make them happy. It takes time to sit down and write out what you want. I know since I have done it. It is not cast in concrete, but it is a tool to be used in attaining a goal--namely, to establish a good base for a relationship.

If a woman gets strange looks because she is 30-plus and never married, try imagining being a male 37 and never married. I'll find that woman (or she'll find me). Until then, I would prefer to be alone and happy rather than in a miserable relationship just so I am not by myself.

Gary Cummins

La Palma

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