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On the Lack of Commitment

July 26, 1987

The reason most often behind a lack of commitment is that expectations exceed reality. The relationships we see on TV are creations of someone's imagination and have little, if anything, to do with relationships that happen in real life. Nobody will meet all your expectations. You will inevitably have to compromise and settle for someone who doesn't measure up to all your specifications. The cruel twist of fate is that someone will also be compromising their standards by entering into a relationship with you. Unless you settle for less than perfection, you are almost guaranteeing that your search will continue unfulfilled.

Our culture has oversold what a relationship can do for a person. Relationships are not a panacea for whatever emotional ill ails you because good relationships often surface as many, if not more, problems than they solve. To count on another person to validate your worth as a person is to give them far more responsibility for your life than is fair to ask.

Most single people desperately want intimacy but are unwilling to pay the price. You meaningfully connect with another person to the degree that you are willing to commit to them. Scott B. Rae

Mariners Church

Newport Beach

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