Victoria Benson, a waitress in Pittsburgh, didn't lead any cheers when the real Steelers returned to work at the end of the strike. Here, in part, is a letter she wrote to the Pittsburgh Press:
"I work in a major restaurant in the city and for five years have waited on these pampered, self-centered men. I have encountered almost every player on the roster and their egos are exceeded only by their inflated salaries. They are demanding in their need for service and attention.
"Within the past three nights I waited on three of them separately, all with family and friends. One check was $108.14, for which I received a $1.86 tip; another $90.38--I received $3--and finally on $86.09--nothing.
"This, unfortunately, is not the exception to the rule. Most of the girls have refused to wait on their tables for this reason."
From The Sporting News: "Cincinnati Manager Pete Rose received a memo from owner Marge Schott ordering him to instruct his players to line up in front of the dugout for the national anthem next season. 'I know where she got that,' Rose said. 'The Dodgers do it. It hasn't helped them the last three years. But she's the boss, so we'll do it.' "
Just Asking: Has there ever been a Ram team with fewer marquee players than the present one? With the departure of Eric Dickerson, the top attraction presumably is Jim Everett, a man who has thrown the same number of touchdown passes this season as Mosi Tatupu.
Trivia Time: What player holds the NFL record for the most yards gained on punt returns in a game? (Answer below.)
Harvey Pollack, Philadelphia 76ers publicist, is No. 1 among NBA trivia experts, but he blew it when he identified Kareem Abdul-Jabbar as the player who has made the biggest impact among No. 1 draft choices.
Pollack noted that the Milwaukee Bucks improved by 29 games after drafting Abdul-Jabbar. However, the record shows that the Boston Celtics improved by 32 games after drafting Larry Bird. The Celtics went from 29-53 in 1978-79 to 61-21 in 1979-80.
Question of the Day: Alan Greenberg of the Hartford Courant poses this one: "If Al Davis is such a genius, how come he only signs lousy quarterbacks?"
Add Greenberg: He says Notre Dame has the greatest fight song, but that the greatest cheer belongs to the mighty men of Rennselaer Polytechnic Institute in Troy, N.Y. It goes like this:
"E to the x
"D to the x
"Cosine, secant, tangent, sine.
"Log of pi
Said St. Louis second baseman Tommy Herr when asked if he had lost any money in the stock market crash: "I haven't checked. But they said the ratio of losers to winners was 49-1, and I'm sure I'm not the one."
Said Dallas cornerback Everson Walls before Monday night's game at Texas Stadium where the Cowboys feared a hostile crowd: "I don't know what to expect, but I'm ready for anything. I've even brought bird seed for the boo birds."
Trivia Answer: LeRoy Irvin of the Rams in 1981, with 207 yards on six returns against Atlanta. Included were touchdown returns of 75 and 84 yards, leading the Rams to a 37-35 win.
Barry Switzer, Oklahoma football coach: "It has been my experience that the fastest man on the football field is the quarterback who has just had his pass intercepted."