At 5 feet 3 inches, Tyrone Bogues is not only short for a basketball player, he's short by any standard.
Writes Tom Farrey of the Seat tle Times: "Take history and divide it into those Muggsy Bogues could and could not post up.
"Those he could: Herve Villechaize (3-11), Olga Korbut (4-11), Danny DeVito (5-0), Toulouse-Lautrec (5-1), Margaret Mead (5-2) and Paul Williams (5-2).
"Those he couldn't: President Madison (5-4), Pablo Picasso (5-4), Michael J. Fox (5-4), Josef Stalin (5-6), Napoleon (5-6) and King Tut (5-6).
"Bogues might even have to pump-fake Nikita Khrushchev (5-3), who had a polished power move."
Said Larry Holmes, when asked if he is fighting Mike Tyson for the money: "I wouldn't do this for my health."
Add Holmes: At 38, he's the same age Muhammad Ali was when Holmes stopped him seven years ago, but he says there's a difference.
"You have to realize I'm in much better shape than Ali was at 38," he said. "Remember, Ali had been through three wars with Joe Frazier, three wars with Ken Norton, two wars with Leon Spinks, one war with George Foreman."
Trivia Time: Who were the four members of the all-initial backfield for the San Francisco 49ers in 1960? (Answer below.)
Tom Zucco of the St. Petersburg Times, noting that Nebraska and Oklahoma fans were exchanging insulting jokes last week, passes along the following:
From the Cornhuskers:
--"If I owned Hell and Oklahoma, I'd live in Hell and rent out Oklahoma."
--"What do you say to a Sooner dressed in a coat and tie? Will the defendant please rise?"
From the Sooners:
--"What do you call a rag mop in Nebraska? The state flag."
--"Why are the steering wheels smaller in Nebraska? So the players can drive with their handcuffs on."
From Stan Isle of the Sporting News: "A wire service photo of the White House reception for the Minnesota Twins identified one individual wearing sunglasses as 'a Secret Service agent.' The 'agent' turned out to be left-hander Steve Carlton, who joined the Minnesota party although he was not on the Twins' World Series roster."
Defensive tackle Jerome Brown of the Philadelphia Eagles, on Coach Buddy Ryan: "You can't satisfy Buddy. You could get a sack every play, and he'd complain that you didn't break the quarterback's arm."
Cleveland linebacker Eddie Johnson, on Houston quarterback Warren Moon: "He just struggles under pressure. Under pressure, Moon freezes up. If you pressure Moon, he'll throw you some balls."
Alabama basketball Coach Wimp Sanderson said he is convinced that ex-Crimson Tide star Derrick McKey, a rookie with the Seattle SuperSonics, will make a bigger impact on the NBA than David Robinson.
"I know this," Sanderson said, "he's the best ninth draft pick in NBA history."
Trivia Answer: Y.A. Tittle, J.D. Smith, C.R. Roberts, R.C. Owens.
Writer Dick Schaap, on John Heisman, football coach and Shakespearean actor: "The only man to play both Hamlet and Harvard."