Y ou better watch out,
You better not cry,
You better not pout,
I'm telling you why,
Santa Claus is coming to town.
To do some head-banging?
At the risk of besmirching St. Nick's hallowed ho-ho-ho image, Goodies Nightclub in Fullerton is taking a ha-ha-ha approach to Christmas tonight by presenting a heavy-metal show called "A Merry Metal Christmas."
The little drummer boy keeping beat to Motley Crue? A Santa soused on mulled wine, belting out nerve-stripping Led Zeppelin riffs?
Nah, it's not holiday blasphemy, just a few hours of loud, raucous, purely secular fun aimed at satisfying local heavy-metal fans. Anyway, that's how promoter Jimmy Caravan sees it.
"It's really just a big Christmas party for them; it's something that we think they can have a ball with," he said. "There's enough of them out there, so we think this will be appreciated."
Headlining the show is Attaxe, with scheduled sets by Critical Mass, Armed and Dangerous, Dangling Fury and Closing Speed. All are Orange County bands.
In keeping with the season's spirit, Caravan said Goodies will be decorated in "wild Christmas style." Besides the usual ornamented trees and a prevalence of green and red, there should be enough heavy-metal touches to satisfy the discriminating head-banger, he said.
"We're going to dress the doorman in a Santa Claus outfit but with a twist. You know, maybe some spikes, chains and a little leather," Caravan deadpanned.
Most of the bands also vowed to inject a little Christmas whimsy into their performances. Attaxe is working on a high-speed metal version of "Jingle Bells," and Armed and Dangerous is planning a sing-along rap number honoring the holidays.
Attaxe drummer and manager Jim Houle said elves caps might be appropriate, at least for his band.
What, no leather regalia?
"No, we want to get decked out in Christmas stuff, you know, put the lead guitarist in a Santa suit, take a humorous attitude," he said. "Anyway, we don't wear that glam stuff. I don't think it's healthy for men to dress up like women."
Darren Porter, lead singer for Armed and Dangerous, hoped the show wouldn't be seen as demeaning to the holidays. Porter, who describes himself as a Christian, said his band will bring a "fun-loving but respectful approach" to the gig.
"My personal opinion is that some of the (heavy-metal) groups are seen as sacrilegious, but we're not like that. Our music isn't really Christian oriented, but some of my religious beliefs do turn up in the lyrics."
Houle added that taking the show too seriously would be a mistake. "Hey, this isn't suppose to offend anybody, but just be cool.
"We have something of a following out here (in the county), and we know that there are a lot of metal fans out here," Houle said. "This is really for them. . . . It's just a way to say 'Merry Christmas.' "
"A Merry Metal Christmas" starts at 6 p.m. at Goodies Nightclub at 1641 N. Placentia Ave., Fullerton. Information: (714) 524-7071.