Exactly 13 years and a week after the much-disputed death of Elvis Presley, we can officially report that Elvis is, in fact, no longer among the living. At least that's what he says.
Celebrity psychic Kenny Kingston, who is at his Channel Islands summer apartment writing a book, said the King showed up at a Beverly Hills seance last week to clear up any doubts or misconceptions.
"Presley came in dressed in a coral toga. He's very trim. He's in good condition," said Kingston. "He sang for us . . . 'Amazing Grace.' . . . His voice is better, softer, he's more sure of himself also. He's more dynamic."
Apparently this wasn't the first time Elvis has made such an appearance, but on this occasion he came to tell the world, once and for all, why he "went to the other side." "Oh sure, there were drugs and maybe a little bit of alcohol involved, but that wasn't what took him to the other side," Kingston said. "It was his mother. She was lonely and wanted him to be with her."
So what has Elvis been up to lately?
"He's studying medicine, a new form of medicine which is going to revolutionize the world," Kingston said. "He's going to come back as a doctor, but it's not going to be a doctor as we know doctors, you know medicines and all of this stuff. I would assume he's going to come back as a healer, maybe somebody who gives homeopathic medicines versus heavy drugs. He's had his share of drugs."
Elvis Extra: "He said Donald and Ivana Trump are really in love. They are soul mates," Kingston said. "He is giving his money to her so if he files for bankruptcy it will still be in the family."
How does Elvis know? "He went into the Trump's home." Of course.
By the way, Elvis isn't the only one learning a new occupation on the other side, Kingston said. James Dean is studying to be a director, and Sidney Greenstreet and W.C. Fields are studying to be accountants.
Back to Earth . . .
If you've been to the County Fair you may have come across a booth belonging to Inventors Workshop International, the only existing international organization set up to counsel inventors. Its headquarters, known as Inventor Center USA, is in Camarillo.
These inventor folks are keeping busy. President Alan Tratner and other representatives will be heading down to Anaheim to host the three-day Expo '90, beginning Aug. 31. The Expo will include the work of local inventors.
"A couple of them have alternative energy and pollution inventions," Tratner said. "There are lots of retired people here. Lots of research labs and scientists."
Tratner's latest project is a "revolutionary bicycle," he said. "It's got a new kind of chassis. It floats. It can be used in snow, water, off-road terrain." But he won't be riding it to Anaheim. "I have to carry everything for the exhibits," he said. Now if only the bike had trunk space.
The latest edition of "Shorelines," the monthly newsletter of the Ventura Visitors and Convention Bureau, announced that Ventura would soon be featured on KABC's "Eye on L.A." The program segment would feature Anacapa Island and its new underwater diving trips.
But don't mark those calendars just yet.
Bureau spokeswoman Janis Flippen said the videotape made by Channel Islands National Park did not satisfy those in charge at the station. They would rather air the tape that the park shows in its visitors center. So park people are trying to get it transferred from Beta to VHS. Stay tuned.