Some sportscasters have started calling the Houston baseball team the 'Stros in an effort to save time. I feel that they should extend this practice to other teams. Certainly, it takes more time to say Dodgers than 'Gers. Even more time could be saved if the practice were extended to city names. We could hear the scores of games involving the 'Ork 'Ets and the 'Burgh 'Ates.
In fact, why not use this method with the names of individuals. Think of the time that would be saved if we turned on our radios and heard, "Hello everybody, this is 'In 'Cully, along with 'Oss 'Orter and 'On 'Dale, bringing you tonight's games between the 'Os 'Les 'Gers and the 'Nati 'Eds. On the mound for the 'Gers will be 'Do 'Zuela."
Let's use this for the names of various statistics, too. Then 'Oss could squeeze in even more 'istics between 'itches.
'AM 'ALVA (SAM GRIJALVA)