IN THE MEN'S HOUSE By Capt . Carol Barkalow with Andrea Raab (Poseidon Press: $19.95; 283 pp.). Capt. Carol Barkalow was a member of that first class at West Point to allow women cadets. Her recital of the indignities heaped on the women, drawn from her contemporaneous diaries, is unsurprising. Guess what? Guys, particularly ones who've made a career out of male bonding, can be dumb about gals. The book's failure lies in things like Barkalow's denunciation of the verbal abuse experienced by female plebes. Didn't she see "An Officer and a Gentleman"? This is equal-opportunity abuse, somebody's idea of how you acclimate future officers to perform under the even more oppressive conditions of combat. If she thinks swearing is rough, wait till an enemy starts shooting at her.