U nconventional wisdom for a Friday morning . . .
Jim Palmer: There must be a reason for this. Nolan Ryan getting too close to the Cy Young for him?
Cooperstown: It's a strange time when Palmer can get out easier than Pete Rose can get in.
Reggie Jackson: He'd be my choice as Canseco Caretaker, too. Assuming Andre Agassi was already booked.
Van Earl Wright: Everyone has their own vision of hell, but if you can top being locked in a room with Van Earl reading baseball scores for eternity, let me know.
Those Runnin' Rebels: In the grand scheme, unpaid room service bills are pretty small potatoes.
John Wooden: Tom Ford wants some big names, we'll give him one.
Jerry Tarkanian: And another. Check it out: Probation hits Nevada Las Vegas next year for sure. Lloyd Daniels is on deck. Tark's ready to bail, and Irvine has an opening. The NCAA would never find him in the Bren Center. Irvine students haven't been able to find Bill Mulligan for years.
Walt Hazzard: Before he does anything, Ford should run a reference check at Chapman College.
Ernie Carr: Not a big name, only four letters long, but one Ford ought to examine.
Cherokee Parks: "Climb aboard, we're going to the Sports Arena." And you thought basketball was a team sport.
Clayton Olivier: He was the Cherokee Parks of his era, a decade ago at Los Amigos High, and he watched the Marina center dismantle Mater Dei in the Division I-A semifinals Tuesday night. "I could guard him," Olivier assured a sportswriter. " 'Course, I'd foul out doing it."
Bill Mulligan: He'd still be coaching if he could have landed Cherokee, but he never picked up the phone. "I knew we couldn't get him," Mulligan says. "I know where to stop."
Duke: Four more Final Fours with Cherokee? The Blue Devils might even win one.
Go West, Young Man: Not if you're a college basketball coach headed for the NCAA regionals this year.
University of the Pacific: Yes, this is the third-place team in the Big West Conference this year. Yes, the Big West Conference is down this year.
Cal State Long Beach: Sitting in the corner. Or should be.
Big West Tournament, 1991: Why bother?
Big West Tournament, 1992: Hope at last.
Lloyd Daniels: Potential Big West MVP in '93 and '94.
Bjorn Borg: Staging this comeback about 10 years too late for McEnroe's sake . . .
Jimmy Connors: . . . but just in time for Jimbo. Borg-Connors, Tour '91: Codgers Across America.
Benoit Benjamin: First the Mariners, then the Goodwill Games, now this?
Kenny Anderson: From Georgia Tech to the Clippers? From Ramblin' Wreck to Ramblin' Wreck?
Darryl Strawberry: So playing in New York was like "going through a nightmare of hell." We can buy that. So Strawberry wants to skip the Dodgers' two spring games against the Mets in Port St. Lucie. We can buy that, too. But what about those trips to Shea Stadium?
SF: Comeback of the year. Eddie DeBartolo doesn't make one Super Bowl, so he decides to change his helmet, taking the San Francisco out of the 49ers and replacing it with something out of American Gladiators. The community revolted and, well, it should have. That's San Francisco you're dealing with, Eddie, not Anaheim.
Kevin Greene: The Rams don't have the defensive ends to play Jeff Fisher's new 4-3? They have one now.
Ronnie Lott: If the Rams are really serious, or merely waving the public relations flag, we'll find out soon. The Redskins and the Raiders also say they're serious, which means that they are.
Bill Veeck: Finally, the Hall got it right.
Jim Abbott: At $185,000, the pauper in the Angels' starting rotation. But he qualifies for arbitration in 1992.
Bruce McNall: He bought the Kings for fun, he bought the Toronto Argonauts for practice. McNall has always had an eye on an NFL expansion franchise. The Argonauts are his training wheels.
Six-Man Basketball: UNLV tried it last Saturday against UC Irvine and got whistled for a technical. Now, if they wanted to try it the other way around. . . .
Year of the Ram: This is it, according to the Chinese calendar. As opposed to last year: The Silence of the Lambs.