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PALM LATITUDES

Tuned In

May 19, 1991

From "The 33- 1/3 Rules of Rock and Roll," in "The Worst Rock and Roll Records of All Time" (Citadel) , by Jimmy Guterman and Owen O'Donnell: * Do not retain a band's name if the most important member(s) has left the group.

* The quality of a song is inversely proportional to the number of instruments on it (unless you're Van Morrison).

* White rock stars who talk about their R & B roots are probably lying.

* Don't sing a song about your dead parent.

* Videos are commercials.

* Admit you're balding.

* Rockers who think they're changing the world are only reaching a small part of it.

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