"Judy is having a baby!"
So says the ad, which is a full magazine page, glossy, in color. Because of the exclamation point, I assume that this is supposed to be good news. Judy is a doll, literally. She and Barbie look as if they could have been sculpted by the same plastic surgeon's knife.
"Judy is more than a toy, she's a natural way for your child to learn while playing," the ad goes on.
"Judy looks like a real mommy-to-be. Take off her tummy, and there's her baby. Lift out the newborn with movable arms and legs, and now she has a flat tummy. . . . In her denim jumpsuit with its Velcro front closure, Judy looks stylish before and after her baby arrives."
I assume that this pitch is directed at me, since I am a mother of real children, both of them girls who loves dolls--especially if they are advertised on TV.
Except I am not buying, not the pitch, not the doll. The ad leaves it to my imagination as to just what it is, exactly, that Judy might teach in her "natural way."
Is it that having a baby is as easy as popping in a spare part? Or that, thank goodness, childbearing needn't slow a glamour girl down? And I can think of worse. Regardless, Judy makes my stomach turn.
Hey, now \o7 there's\f7 an idea. Why not have Judy showing signs of morning sickness too? Nah. \o7 Much\f7 too negative. Pregnancy is fun!
Listed under the "accessories," which the ad says the Judith Corp. will be glad to sell you separately: Judy's husband, Charlie.
I wish that this were merely a joke.
And Judy isn't the only wanna-be pregnant toy. Look for Mattel's My Bundle Baby in a store near you this June. The idea here is to allow your child--or who knows, maybe an especially empathetic husband?--to actually feel pregnant herself.
The Bundle Baby carrier straps to the front of the child. Touch one spot and Baby kicks, touch another and the mommy-to-be feels Baby's heartbeat.
If the child \o7 can't stand it another minute\f7 and opens the bundle up--a pretend C-section?--she can determine whether she is carrying a boy, a girl, or--just like real life!--twins.
As far as I know, the Bundle babies are not anatomically correct. It's a banner that breaks the news, assuming, of course, that your little mama can read.
But don't get the wrong idea. Our nation's toy manufacturers don't want you to think that \o7 literacy\f7 is a requirement for motherhood today. Any girl-woman can get pregnant, of course. This is what makes America great.
