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My Name is Worf and I'll Be Your jabwI'

June 03, 1993|CHARLES PERRY

In "The Klingon Dictionary" (Pocket Books) and the tape "Conversational Klingon" (Simon & Schuster), linguist Marc Okrand gives useful phrases for addressing Klingons, those gruff "Star Trek" aliens who are like a cross between samurai and timber wolves. But he doesn't include nearly enough phrases for ordering in a restaurant, and Newsbites proposes to help fill this gap. (Remember that in Klingon, D is pronounced with the tongue curled back, gh is gargled, H is like ch in German, q is pronounced way back in the throat, Q is the same but more violent, S is a choking sh and ' is a catch in the throat like a hiccup.)

jabwI', Heghlaw'pu' nay'wIj. "Waiter, my entree appears to be dead." tujtaH'a' 'Iwchab? "Is the blood pie still warm?" chay' qagh bovut? "How do you prepare serpent worm?" wIpubqang. "We are willing to boil it." tlhol vImaS jIH. "I prefer it raw." lu', qaH. QaQqu' wIv. "Yes, sir. An excellent choice." nay'mo' bIbel'a'? "Is the dish to your liking?" veQ 'oH. "It is garbage." rInpu'. latlh yIqem. "It is finished. Bring another." wej yInpoH nay'qoqvammo' qorDu'lI' DaquvHa'moHpu'. "With this so-called dish you have dishonored your family for three generations." Huch 'ar DaneH? "How much money do you want?"

This? Um, It's Just Vodka

According to "For God, Country and Coca-Cola" by Mark Pendergrast (Scribner's), Soviet general Georgi Zhukov liked Coca-Cola, and after World War II the company secretly sent him supplies--but a specially formulated "white Coke," so he wouldn't have to be seen drinking the imperialist beverage.

For Coupon Clippers

Savers News is a typed newsletter of seasonal recipes, little ways to make money and, of course, money-saving tips (e.g., many manufacturers will accept the Universal Product Code bar coding in lieu of a whole label as proof of purchase). It's $24 for six issues ($3 for sample copy) from Jorrin, P.O. Box 823, Culver City, Calif. 90232.

Out of Theatrical Distribution, Out of Mind

Ralston Purina has quietly stopped making Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Batman and Addams Family cereals.

Thai Dried Bananas

Sonoma-brand dried bananas, imported from Thailand, are nutritious, look like flattened peeled bananas and have a flavor like a cross between a very ripe banana and a dried fig. The 1 1/2-ounce, shrink-wrap packages--which can be stored for six weeks in the refrigerator, six months in the freezer--are available at health food stores and supermarkets such as Vons and Ralphs.

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