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It's Honor to Care for Ailing Parents

June 06, 1993

As the only child of a very active mother who one year ago stroked into total care ("The Sandwich Generation," May 12), I take exception with the repeated use of the word guilty in the behavior and attitudes of other children involved with the care of their loved parents.

Duty and honor are the operative words that are most appropriate in our behaviors.

I will save the word guilt for the feelings and behaviors of those family members who may not have had great relationships with their parents and then function in turmoil.

However one approaches the subject, for the care-giving child, the overwhelming sense is of utmost, unrelenting grief.

I, a physician with many years of experience in dealing with older people and their families, did not fully understand the complete horror of the situation until now.

CARL S. KORN, MD

Sherman Oaks

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