But in any case, I regret to report that so far the Synthaxis Theater Company of Burbank, which hoped to perform "Thugun and Natasha" in dozens of Los Angeles elementary schools, has been unable to secure funding for its project.
And now, just one last letter from a reader who has noticed something interesting about the Tuesdays, Thursdays and Sundays when, for some reason, my column isn't featured.
Bob Horn of Winnetka writes:
Is there a code behind what the paper says as to why your column doesn't appear some days? I have seen it variously described as you were "on vacation," had "the day off" and, ominously it seems to me, that your column "does not appear today." In Soviet politics, for example, we Kremlinologists knew that differ e nt phrases were not used casually or accidentally but rather had specifically different meanings.
Readers may recall Bob Horn, the subject of a past column. An expert on the former Soviet Union, he was a member of the Cal State Northridge faculty before he was stricken with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Horn is virtually paralyzed, breathes with the aid of a ventilator and writes by nudging a computer mouse with his foot. He still has minor movement in his legs.
Let's see. "On vacation" means just that. "The day off" may mean that I just pleaded for mercy. ("Had an off day" would perhaps be more accurate.)
As for the ominous "does not appear today," well, I'm afraid I'll have to leave that to the scrutiny of Timesologists.
You see, Professor Horn, if I went into too much detail, my column would not appear today.
If I've learned anything in my first year on this job, it's that gun enthusiasts have itchy keyboard fingers.