HAREM WISH by Jan Carr. (Dutton: $19.95; 245 pp.) It's difficult reviewing a first novel with an insecure narrator who wants desperately to be liked because beaming a critical headlight on this character and her story feels tantamount to betrayal. "Harem Wish" features Codie, a writer and editor who is overflowing with romance, imagination and anger. These three personality traits, qualities she is helpless against, rule every aspect of her life. Codie's lover, See (also a woman) treats Codie, one suspects, not as well as she deserves. Cut to Sari and Anwa, members of a harem in ancient Arabia, who are connected through reincarnation (it's not quite as hokey as it sounds) to Codie and Dee.