Lani O'Grady played Mary, the Bradford clan's strong and self-confident eldest daughter.

During the series' heyday, however, fans were unaware that O'Grady suffered panic attacks so severe that she'd frequently run to her dressing room to pop a Valium or two and once shook and cried so much during a scene that someone had to drive her home.

The lowest point in her 20-year bout with panic attacks came early last year, when agoraphobia kept her at home and her body was so toxic from abusing prescription drugs and alcohol that she was experiencing memory blackouts.

By then, mere panic attacks would have been a luxury.

"I lived in panic: Fear was the only four-letter word I used," said O'Grady, 39, whose life changed dramatically last spring.

The turn-around came when O'Grady was admitted to Charter Hospital in Mission Viejo, where a psychiatrist, Martin Jensen, discovered the cause of her problem: a brain chemical imbalance, which is now being treated with non-narcotic medication.

Jensen describes O'Grady's condition when she checked into the hospital a year ago as no less than catastrophic.

"She was very near death," he said.

The treatment, O'Grady said, has made all the difference in the world: "I have a life today."

Since an "Entertainment Tonight" segment on her ordeal aired last summer, O'Grady has been making the rounds of TV talk shows. Jensen, for whom she has been working as a personal assistant and office manager since last fall, always accompanies her on the air. As O'Grady said, "I can't answer the medical questions."

Jensen initially brought O'Grady into his office to help answer mail. Their talk show appearances--particularly one last year on "Sally Jessy Raphael"--spurred thousands of viewers to write requesting information about brain chemical imbalances, which, Jensen said, can cause everything from panic attacks and depression to agoraphobia and "any type of feeling of mental discomfort."

O'Grady and Jensen, who recently returned from another round of talk shows, also garnered some unexpected publicity earlier this year: They found themselves the subject of a supermarket tabloid story in which Jensen's estranged wife claims that he walked out on their five-year marriage last fall to be with O'Grady.

Jensen said he was "let go" from his position as associate medical director at Charter Hospital in Mission Viejo as a result of the controversy created by the Star magazine story. A hospital spokeswoman declined to comment on Jensen's departure.