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Only in L.A.

October 06, 1994|Steve Harvey

X didn't mark the spot: A photo in Ride-On, the United Transportation Union's newspaper, shows a ballot from a recent contract vote in which the "Yes" box was marked with a lipstick imprint. The passionate voter's ballot was certified. But, no, the newspaper didn't disclose his or her identity.

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Almost as humorous as a Letterman list: Public affairs consultant Robert Mooney of Covina writes that when he read his invitation to join the American Assn. of Political Consultants, "I thought immediately of your column." We can see why after reading the group's "Code of Professional Ethics," which contained these knee-slappers:

* "I shall not indulge in any activity which would corrupt or degrade the practice of political campaigning."

* "I shall treat my colleagues and clients with respect and never intentionally injure their professional or personal reputation."

* "I will refrain from false and misleading attacks on an opponent or his or her record."

Surely, the group will give exemptions to the consultants involved in the Wilson-Brown and Feinstein-Huffington races.

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Rock's blood group: A press release from the Hollywood offices of Geffen Records quipped that Jesse James Dupree, Jackyl's chain saw-wielding front man, "came close to donating his thumb to the Hard Rock Cafe's memorabilia collection. While performing a special live set as part of Hard Rock Miami's first anniversary celebration, Dupree cut his left hand to the bone with his chain saw."

It adds: "After completing the band's set with blood flowing from his hand, Dupree also cut the Hard Rock's anniversary cake with his chain saw before being taken to a local hospital. . . ."

Tasty.

But what about your houseguests?Our oddment about the Hollywood company that specializes in "phallic casting" brought a note from Linda Countryman, who says she "was reminded of an offering that could be of benefit to both sexes." She read about a toilet seat firm that offers to make "customized seats . . . from one's own template."

She concludes: "May visions of placing your bottom in a bucket of plaster of Paris forever dance in your head."

Tributes like that bring tears to our eyes.

miscelLAny In honor of Rideshare Week--surely you knew this was Rideshare Week--several female impersonators from a local restaurant say they will "drag the Strip" today aboard West Hollywood's Sunset Shuttle. The bus will be topped with a giant, high-heeled shoe.

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