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Only in L.A.

October 27, 1995|Steve Harvey

Ordering can be a headache:

A colleague, dining at Jerry's Deli near the Beverly Center, asked a waitress for some margarine.

"I'm sorry," she responded. "I'm not allowed to dispense that here."

Risking public humiliation, he asked another waitress. This one promptly brought over a big cube of the stuff.

Later, he spotted the first waitress and said, "You know, I'm a little puzzled here. Why did you say you couldn't serve us margarine?"

"Margarine?" she responded with a laugh. "You said margarine?" Then she explained that she thought he had requested a pain reliever, Motrin.

SEQUESTRATIONS WE HAVE KNOWN: Some trials in which juries have been stashed in hotels:

* Sirhan Sirhan: Biltmore, 1969, 16 weeks

* Charles Manson: Ambassador, 1970-71, 30 weeks

* LAPD / Rodney G. King (first): Travelodge (Simi Valley), 1992, seven weeks

* LAPD / Rodney G. King (second): L.A. Hilton, 1993, seven weeks

* O.J. Simpson: Inter-Continental, 1995, 38 weeks

BIG ZEROS: We forgot to mention that the new book, "Blade Runner 2: The Edge of Human," depicts the Big One striking L.A. in the year 2020. But then you probably assumed it, right? It's uncanny the number of books and movies that have prophesied Arizona becoming oceanfront property. Some examples with the date of California's destruction (reassuring to see that several doomsdays have passed):

* 1969: "The Last Days of the Late, Great State of California," by Curt Gentry.

* 1974: The movie, "Earthquake" (21 years later, the Capitol Records building is still standing).

* 1988: The movie, "The Man Who Saw Tomorrow," a purported documentary about Nostradamus.

* 1990: The TV movie, "The Big One: The Great Los Angeles Earthauake" (the only real disaster was its Nielsen rating).

* 2005: "Virtual Light," by William Gibson, in which the Bay Bridge is permanently crippled.

* 2027: "Parable of the Sower," by Octavia Butler (say hello to the survivors, Oregon and Washington!).

Incidentally, the Big One in "Blade Runner 2" transforms Downtown L.A. into "the mouth of a ground-level volcano. . . ."

Sort of reminds us of that big ditch on Bunker Hill known as the Disney Concert Hole.

miscelLAny For $17.95, a Beverly Hills company called Pillow People will imprint a parent's photo on a pillowcase, which is intended to help kids sleep through the night. We can see a big market for a rival product--a taped message from a parent that would be activated when a child gets out of bed. The tape would growl: "Go back to sleep--now!"

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