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LETTERS

Men Are Just as Capable of Raising Kids

February 18, 1996

Re "A Grief Come Too Soon" (Feb. 6): I lost my wife 11 days after my second son was born in 1992 and was left with an infant and a 3-year-old. Of course I have felt at times that it was not fair and that she should be here, but life isn't fair. I love being a father. I am self-employed and raise my boys the way I want to.

What I find to be a real problem is the way most women view a man in such a situation. It is not that they are not interested in such a man. After all, isn't that what every woman wants, a man who is going to be there when the going gets tough? It is not that they would not or could not love my gorgeous boys.

But most women who see a man raising small children by himself draw unwarranted conclusions. Somehow women think that a man cannot possibly do that by himself. So without being asked for anything they feel pressure . . . and run away. They put this pressure on themselves and I am getting really tired of it.

MATHEW KUNDINGER

Los Angeles

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