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THE INSIDE TRACK | MORNING BRIEFING

Captain Kirk Also Struggled Against Their Defense

May 28, 1996|THOMAS BONK

It would be the best game in, well, the galaxy? Ever wonder what would happen if the Dallas Cowboys played the Klingons. Entertainment Weekly did.

So the magazine asked Jonathan Frakes, an actor who played second-in-command Will Riker on "Star Trek: The Next Generation" and the director of "Star Trek Klingon" on CD-ROM, who would win if the Klingons ever challenged the Cowboys.

Said Frakes: "I don't think the Cowboys would even come onto the field. They'd be scared off by the Klingon national anthem."

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Trivia time: What did George S. Patton, the eventual World War II hero, do at the 1912 Olympic Games?

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A basketball player? New York Knick Coach Jeff Van Gundy on Dennis Rodman: "He plays well, for whatever he is."

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Method acting: In "Eddie," a film premiering Friday, Whoopi Goldberg coaches the New York Knicks.

Rumor is, John Starks disappears in the final quarter of the film.

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Stick it to 'em: Vito Stellino of the Baltimore Sun wasn't impressed by NFL Commissioner Paul Tagliabue's vow to fine teams $500,000 for speaking with other cities about moving.

Tagliabue, said Stellino, "speaks loudly and carries a small stick."

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Call John Daly: For what it's worth, 43-year-old Jack Hamm hit a golf ball 1,012 yards on a runway at Denver's Stapleton Airport, including carry and roll.

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It's so simple: Jay Leno said he has a solution to ending the standoff with the Freemen in Montana. Said Leno: "We declare them an NFL franchise. After a few months, they'll leave."

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Is Casey at bat? The Stockton Ports of the Class-A California League are owned by "Joy in Mudville Inc."

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Boom! Hard-throwing Yankee pitcher Mariano Rivera was asked to explain the velocity behind his fastball.

"My ball explodes," Riviera said.

Let's hope he has a permit for that.

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No relief: Closer Dennis Eckersley of the St. Louis Cardinals had a run-in with umpire Larry Vanover in a runway underneath the Coors Field stands and another umpire, Charlie Williams, said Eckersley became abusive in mixed company.

Said Williams of Eckersley: "The whole thing in a nutshell is that if they're going to send Albert Belle to see about some psychiatric counseling, this guy ought to go too. They need to send them both, package them together and save some money."

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Trivia answer: He placed fifth in the modern pentathlon.

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And finally: After taking a look at the Yankee Stadium attendance, Jon Heyman of Newsday is siding with George Steinbrenner in the issue of looking for a new home for the Yankees.

Said Heyman: "Tradition is great. History is important. The monuments are neat. But more folks would go to see the Yankees, and enjoy them, if they played somewhere else. Almost anywhere else. It probably is time now for the traditionalists and historians to realize that this game is just about over. Progress has won out again."

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