Course marshals at Riviera Country Club are armed this week with white wooden paddles that read "QUIET PLEASE," which may have sufficed in the old days, but that was before runaway Tigermania and out-of-control cameramen who dare to prematurely click off shots during a hush over the 18th green.
Clearly, something more forceful, more foreboding, is needed.
Maybe something in big, bold, red letters to be raised over Tiger Woods' head every time he hunches over a putt.
PRODIGY AT WORK, DO NOT DISTURB.
Woods and his caddie, Mike "Fluff" Cowan, nearly became unhinged at the sound of a motorized camera whirring on the fringe of the 18th green, just as Woods was lining up his final putt of Thursday's first round of the Nissan Open.
Two quick frames were squeezed off, barely audible to the vacuum-packed gallery, but evidently loud enough for Woods, who abruptly jerked away from the ball and took a big step backward.
"Why don't you all clear out of here?" Cowan bellowed at the cluster of 20 or so photographers tracking Woods' every move.
"I'm serious. I don't care who did it. Would you all just move?"
No one did much of anything, other than to wait for Woods to approach the ball again and calmly knock it the remaining nine feet to save par and a first-day round of 70, one under par and five strokes behind leaders Payne Stewart and Scott Hoch.
A few more photos were taken, Woods signed his scorecard and then a tournament publicist approached him with an interview request.
"I'm not going to do anything today," Woods snapped as he hurried toward the clubhouse. "That was an absolute joke what someone did over there."
Meanwhile, outside the clubhouse, Fluff huffed and puffed.
"There's a lot of people with cameras here who ain't got a . . . clue," Cowan growled. "They'll click away right in the middle of a stroke. And they don't have the common decency to clear out of there when asked."
It wasn't the first time Cowan had asked Thursday morning. The caddie also confronted a crush of photographers alongside the 11th green, telling them, "You can't be behind the hole" and motioning them to move back.
"More! More!" Cowan ordered. "I'm talking 20 feet, not two."
When several sets of feet shuffled away from the pin, Cowan thanked them.
Personally, Cowan said after the round, he has nothing against the photo mob.
"He doesn't like it," Cowan said, referring to Woods. "I don't give a . . . . But he doesn't like it, so I don't like it, either."
That's a caddie's job, to keep each hole, each stroke, as simple as possible for his golfer.
But photographers have a job as well. Just as it is with Woods, the idea is to produce better shots than the other guys.
So what if one stray shutter moves before the putter?
"Tiger is under a microscope," said Peter Jacobsen, a 20-year PGA Tour veteran who shot a three-under 68 Thursday. "Personally, I'd be willing to give him a break on that. He will learn the photographer's job is to get a picture.
"Sometimes, that shutter goes off at the wrong time. It's unavoidable, but accidental."
That microscope homes in on all things Tiger--father, mother and caddie included. Cowan, who caddied for Jacobsen before signing on with Woods last fall, has "been living it with Tiger," according to Jacobsen. "He's been under a lot of stress."
But on the 18th hole, Team Tiger was technically in the right. According to official PGA photography regulations, "No photograph shall be taken until a player has completed his stroke."
And: "If requested to move by a player, his caddie or an official, the photographer will do so without delay or discussion."
So, trivial as it might sound, a code of conduct was indeed violated on the 18th green.
"Somebody blew it," said one photographer who witnessed the incident. "As soon as [a player] addresses the ball, we're not supposed to shoot until he makes contact."
Once Woods angrily stepped away from the ball, Cowan pulled the young golfer aside and told him to "Block them out. They aren't there."
Composure eventually regained, Woods saved an under-par round.
"He pulled himself together nicely after the disturbance," Cowan said.
On the downside, that putt was Woods' 29th of the day, including one three-putt bogey, too many to make a serious run at Thursday's leaderboard.
"He played OK," Cowan said. "He wasn't as sharp as I've seen him most of the time, but that's the nature of the game."
So is fulfilling postround interview requests, even if a camera shutter blows your concentration, although Cowan rushed to his golfer's defense on that one too.
"I don't see any reason for him to do an interview today," Cowan said. "He's not leading the golf tournament. No one else who's not a leader has to go to the interview room. Why does he have to go?"
Because, perhaps, he's Tiger Woods?
"In my opinion, from what I've seen so far, he's been more than accommodating with the media," Cowan said. "It's his prerogative, again, being in the position he's in.
"They wouldn't want anybody else one under in the media tent. I don't see how they can expect him to go in there every day."