I see the initials all the time on the Internet. IMHO for In My Humble Opinion, FAQ for Frequently Asked Questions, BTW for By the Way and all those silly sideways smiley-face derivatives. It has spurred thought about how a new medium can spawn new language, new habits, new rules of the road.
And I've found myself cheering when I see notes asking for civil discourse or chat messages that advise an overheated correspondent to chill.
I've asked myself where all this is coming from. You've heard talk about Netiquette. Who's inventing it?
So I decided to consult with an expert--Judith Martin of Washington, whose thoughts on etiquette are distributed widely under the pen name "Miss Manners." I found the telephonic visit invigorating, useful and thought-provoking.
Martin is no stranger to electronic publishing. She is an active e-mail user, and her column is available through the Internet. She has made technology a focus of her recently published book, "Miss Manners' Basic Training/Communication" (Crown Publishers, $15).
What she sees on the Internet is a rebirth of etiquette experimentation.
"Actually, I think it is wonderful to see people finally coming into the etiquette business," Martin says.
In her book, Martin reminds us that technology has given us tools to interrupt one another at will, insisting through pagers, telephones and other devices that our current concern is so important it should take precedence over whatever conversation or activity might have been going on. She endorses e-mail as a much more civilized way to communicate because it allows us to respond to each other whenever it is convenient.
"Etiquette is a civilizing idea," she suggested the other day. "Etiquette . . . seems to be a requirement for any kind of social activity. It is a means to settle misunderstandings before they become big enough to require laws."
When the Internet came along, she went on, "I was surprised that after years of being essentially patted on the head for caring about etiquette, here was an entire structure moving along in which people were insisting on civilized discourse."
So where does it all come from?
Natural instinct and survival, she suggests. At least it is survival from being offended.
"On the Internet, your reputation is not as much at stake," she said. "People can use pseudonyms or take on computer identities . . . and the law cannot settle the issue when there is upset over things that may be seen as trivialities. So there is a natural desire for what we call etiquette to settle these things."
