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Laugh Lines

Pint-Sized Punch Lines

July 24, 1998

* What has one eye and is really sharp but can't see? A needle. (Peggy Morse, 6, Trabuco Canyon, Buddy Day School)

* What do you get when you cross a cowboy and a telephone? The Phone Ranger. (Crystal Marie Ulibarri, 7, Long Beach, Hudson Elementary)

* What did the two vampires say when they kissed? "Ouch!" (Steve Yun, 10, Palos Verdes, Lunada Bay Elementary)

* Why did the farmer cross the road? He was chasing the chicken. (Kevin Gilbert, 8, Irvine, UCI Farm School)

* A man decided to try a new restaurant on his vacation, but it turned out to be a dive. "Waiter," he complained, "I don't like all these flies buzzing around my table."

"Yes, sir" replied the waiter. "You just point out to me the ones you don't like, and I'll chase them away." (Deborah Tsan, 11, Mission Viejo, La Paz Intermediate School)

* KIDS, GOT A JOKE? Send it to Pint-Sized Punch Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Life & Style, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053. Print (or type) your full name, age, hometown and school. Please be patient.

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