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RESTAURANT SPECIAL '98: THE BEST...THE BEAUTIFUL...AND
THE BIZARRE | AND THE BIZARRE: PL8SPK | SO SOCAL

Appetit Andd Denial

March 15, 1998|Daniel Nussbaum

Each word is taken from the vanity plate master list issued by the DMV.

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MIDADD POPDEE QUESTIN 2MA 1NITE AT

JOEYS CFOOD CAFE OFF PCH. HEE HIDD

UNO OST1OT8S DIMOND RRRING ONDA

BOTM UVA COMPLX MPECIBL BOWL OF

PHISH CHOWDA. "UMORON," SEZMOM.

"ICUDA HURT MYSLF."

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HENSHE WED ATT JOEEEZ TOO, THEN

DVOUR SEARED MAHI MAHIE WYTHE AVERY

FEARLIS PEPPERI DILL SAUZE. AFTER DAT

ITZ JOEYZ NYTNDAY: WID TERFVIK CURRYD

PRAWNS 2XCAPE THERR BORING PAD; SUM

WITTY SORDFSH KBOBB 2DISCUS THERR

UPNDN MARIAJ; UND 2CELBR8 GETTING

PREGO: CRAWFSH STU, ABIT OVRST8D.

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B4 2LONG, DADNMA DDYD MORALSS LIV

ATD DPLACE. SHEGOS N2 LABOUR ATA

TABLE EATIN JOEZ AMUZIN CRABCKS.

IMTHERE WEN ISAY MY1ST WORD:

"CEVICHE." WENDEE SHERFF ARESTED

PPPOP ONEDAY FER RYTTING BADCHEX,

HEEZ THERE2. DADSEZ, "W8AMNIT! LETME

FINISH THIS FSN8IN SALMN CROKET!"

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LASTYR MAMMAH IN4MS DFAMLY SHEIS

N2PILLS UND CNTKICK ANDTHEN FALS

FACE1ST INTO APLATA SHELFSH PREPARD,

ASUSUAL, WITH SOMUTCH GENYUS AND

A1OSHIN 2DTAILS WE ALL AGREE JJOEE

ISGOD. WTAJEWL! BONAPT!!

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For PL8SPK translation, please see Page 36. Illustrations by Gary Baseman, top, Richard Downs, bottom

(BEGIN TEXT OF INFOBOX / INFOGRAPHIC)

Appetite and Denial

My Dad popped the question to Ma one night at Joey's Seafood Cafe off PCH. He hid an ostentatious diamond ring on the bottom of a complex, impeccable bowl of fish chowder. "You moron," says Mom, "I could have hurt myself."

He and she wed at Joey's too, then devoured seared mahi mahi with a very fearless peppery dill sauce. After that it's Joey's night and day: with terrific curried prawns to escape their boring pad; some witty swordfish kebab to discuss their up-and-down marriage; and to celebrate getting pregnant: crawfish stew, a bit overstated.

Before too long, Dad and Ma did more or less live at the place. She goes into labor at the table eating Joe's amusing crab cakes. I'm there when I say my first word: "Ceviche." When the sheriff arrested Pop one day for writing bad checks, he's there, too. Dad says, "Wait a minute! Let me finish this fascinating salmon croquette!"

Last year, Mama informs the family she's into pills and can't kick and then falls face first into a plate of shellfish prepared, as usual, with so much genius and attention to details, we all agree that Joey is God. What a jewel! Bon appetit!

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