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THE BEST...THE BEAUTIFUL...AND THE BIZARRE | SO SOCAL

Pl8spk

March 29, 1998|Daniel Nussbaum

Each word is taken from the vanity plate master list issued by the DMV*

HOW2WIN FRENZ ANNDD NFLUENC PEEPLE, UMORON

*

IKANT BLEEVIT. WHENEVR

IGO2 ZE BOOKSTR IC

MORNMOR HOWE2 BOOKES "FER DUMMYS"! MANY

THOUSAN! DAT PUBLSHR

HAZZ GT2BRCH BYENOWW.

*

HOONOO THEKEY2

PUBLSHN 6S

WUZ SOEZ: IFI INSULTU,

UU WILLBUY. NQWDBLE!

OKNOW INOALL IND2NO

2KRE8 MYOWNN LIST

UV CANTLUZ BSTSLR

SLFHLP TITLES.

CMN SOON FROM

PL8SPK BOOKS:

*

"ORIGAMI FOR LUNITIX"

*

"PHANCEE ITALYUN COOKNN FFORE PUNX"

*

"ABSTRKT XPRSNSM FORRR

LOWLYF PEEPL"

*

"OPERATC SINGIN FORE

OLDUGLI PATHETK

DISOLUT SLFCTRD

SKIZOID BUMS"

*

"DA GEEKBOY BOOKE

OF ADVANSD

SWDISH MASSAJ"

*

IEVEN HAV THE ADVRTZN

SLOGAN REDI2GO. IT SEZ: "YULITL PHREEK, JUS

BYTHEBK UND GOAWAE WUDJA?!"

*

For PL8SPK translation, please see Page 33.

(BEGIN TEXT OF INFOBOX / INFOGRAPHIC)

PL8SPK Translation

How to Win Friends and Influence People, You Moron

I can't believe it. Whenever I go to the bookstore I see more and more how-to books "For Dummies"! Many thousand! That publisher has got to be rich by now.

Who knew the key to publishing success was so easy: If I insult you, you will buy. Incredible! OK, now I know all I need to know to create my own list of can't-lose, bestseller self-help titles. Coming soon from PL8SPK Books:

"Origami for Lunatics"

"Fancy Italian Cooking for Punks"

"Abstract Expressionism for Lowlife People"

"Operatic Singing for Old Ugly Pathetic Dissolute Self-Centered Schizoid Bums"

"The Geekboy Book of Advanced Swedish Massage"

I even have the advertising slogan ready to go. It says: "You little freak, just buy the book and go away, would ya?!"

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