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An Earful of Advice Tossed in the Ring

November 10, 1998

Question from Nov. 3: What advice would you give Mike Tyson's first opponent?

"If you're a native of the planet Vulcan, don't even think about it."

--PAT BATTISTINI, North Hollywood

"Try to muzzle him in the first round."

--SCOTT FLANDERS, Newport Beach

"Soak both ears with shark repellent prior to the start of each round."

--LARRY BROOKS, Sacramento

"Take him out for a nice big filling meal before the match to make sure he's had plenty to eat first."

--MELISSA RYAN, Gardena

"Hide a fake ear in your trunks. During the match, throw it on the floor and yell 'Ouch! You see that ref? He did it again!' "

--EMMANUEL RUSTIA, Chino Hills

"Get steel ears!"

--WERNER RUCKELSHAUSEN, San Pedro

"Earmuffs."

--KATHY WEISS, Redondo Beach

--CHRISTINE KARICH, West Hollywood

--DAVID COBBETT, Santa Ana

--RACHEL STRONG, Santa Ana

--SID JOBE, Camarillo

--CHRISTIE HAMM, North Hollywood

--PAT CASH, Panorama City

"Wear earmuffs, and under no circumstances go back to his hotel room with him."

--AL GRESSLER, Newbury Park

*

The question for Nov. 17:

We're loving the fact that an elected official has a middle name that requires quote marks. We're speaking of Jesse (now, "The Mind," though formerly "The Body") Ventura, governor-elect of Minnesota. How about new middle names for Other ("Cool Middle Name Here") Politicians?

Send replies of 25 words or less to Smart Aleck, c/o Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053, or e-mail to socalliving@latimes.com. Include your name and hometown. Replies will appear next week. Don't be bashful.

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