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Laugh Lines

November 10, 1998

A Real Blockbuster: Terrorist Ringleader Osama bin-Laden has been indicted in the African Embassy bombings. "Meanwhile, Bruce Willis would like to personally thank bin-Laden for his help in promoting the new movie 'The Siege.' " (Premiere Radio)

The Endless Bummer: Paula Jones lost her fourth set of lawyers Thursday but will continue her legal appeal against Bill Clinton. "What's the difference between the Paula Jones case and Methuselah? Methuselah finally died." (Argus Hamilton)

Old Friends: Watching Walter Cronkite broadcasting the news about John Glenn in space brought back the good old days. "I kept flipping the channels, searching for 'Rawhide', 'Dr. Kildare' and 'Route 66.' " (Jerry Perisho)

The Good Doctor: U.S. District Court Judge Dean Pregerson has ruled that radio shrink and author ("The Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives") Laura Schlessinger cannot prevent nude photos of herself (taken 21 years ago) from being circulated on the Internet. "Better make that 11 things." (Bob Mills)

That Gal's (Still) Gone: Bobby Blue Bland has been given the Blues Foundation's Lifetime Achievement Award. "This honor was bestowed on him for investigating all the different ways to wake up in the morning with the blues runnin' 'round your mind." (Gary Easley)

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The Essential David Letterman:

Top 10 Shows in Iraq

10. "Husseinfeld"

9. "Mad About Everything"

8. "U.S. Military Secrets Revealed"

7. "Suddenly Sanctions"

6. "Allah McBeal"

5. "Children Are Forbidden From Saying Anything Darndest"

4. "Fatima Loves Chachi"

3. "The Brian Benben bin-Laden Show"

2. "Buffy The Slayer of Yankee Imperialist Dogs"

1. "Matlock"

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.

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