"Don't kiss me, don't kiss me," my son screams. "Oh, you got makeup in my eye!"
This dramatic scene plays itself out every morning I go to work.
My lipstick is dark and too smudgy and leaves large brown marks on my children that look like I have been beating them. I once got stopped in a grocery store by some poor woman who almost threw up in relief when I wiped it off the baby's forehead.
Long ago, my husband informed me that lipstick on the collar was no longer p.c. at his office. We've been air-kissing every morning since.
So finally, Miss Lipstick Snob (if it's not in the double digits, I won't buy it) broke down and bought Revlon Colorstay lipstick ($8.99). Like I said when she married Richard Gere, if it's good enough for Cindy Crawford, it's good enough for me.
I applied Chocolate (good for brunets), waited a few minutes for it to dry and started kissing. Sure enough, nothing came off. Everyone seemed happy but me. The lipstick was too dry for my taste. And I had to reapply it several times to keep looking kissable.
A friend suggested another method. First apply baby powder, of which I am in abundant supply, and then my fancy-schmancy lipstick.
I did, and looked like a Kabuki actor. Wipe off powder, smudge lipstick. To no avail: The baby was still a mess, the son wasn't coming near me. And the color faded at its usual rate.
A second friend enlightened me. Body chemistry plays a big role in how long lipstick stays on, she says. She is a huge fan of Colorstay even though the rest of her makeup is very high-end.
In the end, I found a third technique. Take lipstick outside. Get into car. Start car. Apply lipstick. Reapply several times as needed throughout the day. Wipe off before reentering home.
When Just Any Teddy Bear Won't Do
\o7 Today's Holiday Catalog Countdown is bound to give you that warm, fuzzy feeling. It did us.\f7
After all, who can resist teddy bears of all shapes and sizes with teensy Raisinette eyes and chocolate-chip noses. But these comfort creatures from the Vermont Teddy Bear Co. aren't meant for devouring. They're for hugging, squeezing and cuddling. OK, enough fuzziness.
First, a few notes: The VTBC catalog offers more than 100 bears (most are 15 inches tall) in as many outfits. Each can be personalized, and every bear is sent in a gift box with an air hole--really--and a chocolate paw treat. It's just too much to bear, isn't it?
* Rudy the Red-Nosed Teddy is VTBC's biggest and most beautiful bear. He has caramel-colored fur and a hand-embroidered cherry-red nose. He wears a red-velvet Santa cap and emerald-velvet bow tie. But he ain't cheap. Price: $105.
* Blue Without You Bear is exactly that: a blue bear with a blue velvet bow. Just right for Elvis fans. Price: $59.
* Military Bear wears your favorite armed forces sweatshirt: Army, Air Force, Navy or Marines. Price: $65.
* Baby Bear is a very soft, sweet bundle of fur dressed in a diaper and matching bib that may be embroidered with your baby's name and birth date. Price: $62; embroidery, $7 for two lines.
* Snow Bear is fluffy white with a flannel hat, wool scarf and cloth carrot nose. Price: $85.
* Sugar Plum Fairy Bear is decked out in a sparkling tulle tutu with white satin ballet slippers. Price: $70.
\o7 For catalog information, call (800) 282-3131 or shop online at http://www.vtbear.com; orders placed by Dec. 23 are guaranteed for Christmas delivery.\f7