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Aleck

Saddam Meets His Match With Strongman Ventura

November 24, 1998

Question from Nov. 17: Who should the U.S. send to go mano a mano with Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein to keep him in his place?

"Send Janet Reno dressed in harem garb with a 007 poison dart gun hidden in her bellybutton."

--SHIRLEY RYAN

Palm Springs

"Jerry Springer. He's been in the trenches and is not afraid to dirty his hands. A few brawlers might help out!"

--LINDA L. JEFFRIES,

Los Angeles

"Jesse 'The Body' Ventura."

--E. THOMAS, Fontana

--JACK DE ARMAN, Oxnard

--CECILE MAURICE, Seal Beach

--SHELBY MULLIGAN, Toronto, Canada

--ZACHARY CHARLES, Burbank

--SHARON KARP, Los Angeles

"Send Newt Gingrich. He says what he has to say, doesn't back down and couldn't be conned. And he's currently unemployed."

--JANE ROSENBURG, Tustin

"Judge Judy."

--CATHY ROWE, Simi Valley

"How about shipping the Spice Girls over to drive him nuts and ultimately bore him to death?"

--WALT HOPMANS

Santa Barbara

"Dr. Laura. She's brutal, preachy and holier than thou, and she would bore him to death. He would agree to anything."

--JEANNE

EDWARDS, Burbank

"Mike Tyson."

--KATHY WEISS, Redondo Beach

--LESLIE DOGOLDOGOL, Chino Hills

--FRANK

MARQUES, San Dimas

"Top operative Linda Tripp. She will veil her threats, earn his confidence and stab him in the back."

--CATHLEEN BROWN, Los Osos

"Dennis Rodman. Saddam would be laughing so hard he'd have an aneurysm and keel over."

--RON DE ROXTRA, Burbank

"Ross Perot to Hussein: 'Listen up, sand worm. Missiles will be arriving shortly to wipe that hairball off your lip.' "

--BRIAN SIMLER, Bakersfield

The question for Nov. 24:

If President Clinton gets kicked out of office, what line of work should he pursue?

Send replies of 25 words or fewer to Smart Aleck, in care of SoCal Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053, or e-mail to socalliving@latimes.com. Include your name and hometown. Replies will appear next week.

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