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Laugh Lines

Punch Lines

October 27, 1998

Mad About Art: Scientists discovered that a certain type of dementia that attacks the front part of the brain brings on artistic expression in some sufferers. "Likewise, extreme dementia brings on NEA grants." (Gary Easley)

According to Newsweek: Bill Clinton began cheating on Hillary in 1974 when they were still dating. "That part's not shocking. What's shocking is that Ken Starr wasn't following and documenting his every move." (Andrew Wisot)

In the ICU: The cast of "ER" recently celebrated the show's 100th episode. "The popular medical drama will soon face its first major opposition from a cable network when the weekly series 'HMO on HBO' debuts." (Bob Mills)

She's a Doll: Mattel created a special Elizabeth Taylor doll for a charity auction. "It comes equipped with real diamonds and divorce papers." (Buzz Report)

Hot Rods: Fisher-Price is recalling 10 million "Power Wheels" kiddie cars because they can catch fire. "Of course, this would then make them 'Hot Wheels.' " (Premiere Radio)

Spice of Life: Ginger Spice has been named United Nations Population Fund ambassador. "She's expected to make great strides for zero-population growth as she sings at conferences around the world." (Andy Gram)

Hocus Focus: Magician David Copperfield is suing a French magazine over a story that said he pays model Claudia Schiffer to pose as his fiancee. "Copperfield is also contesting the story's claim that he sawed her in half to give her the waif look." (Joshua Sostrin)

Sell! Sell!: Computer problems brought trading to a halt for about an hour on the New York Stock Exchange. "This frequently happens when Bill Gates gets cash from an ATM during trading hours." (Alex Kaseberg)

Viagra Nation: A gynecologist has completed a study showing that women who take Viagra can significantly enhance their enjoyment of sex. "The women in the study however, reported an annoying side effect: Their lovers bragged about how good they were in the bedroom twice as much as usual." (Sostrin)

Dave's Top Worst: A South Carolina woman has been arrested for loitering in the driveway of David Letterman's Connecticut house. "She said she'd heard his stalker had died, so she was just there to apply for the position." (Gram)

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* SEND US A LINE: Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Life & Style, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.

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