Advertisement
YOU ARE HERE: LAT HomeCollections

Laugh Lines

Punch Lines

October 30, 1998

Swap Meet: President Clinton flew to Florida for the launching of space shuttle Discovery. "It's to bid a fond farewell. As part of last week's land-for-peace swap, Clinton gave South Florida to Israel." (Argus Hamilton)

Against All Odds: A CNN poll has George W. Bush leading all GOP presidential candidates for 2000. "The guy is charming, he's articulate, he genuinely likes people, and he's monogamous. And for most Americans, three out of four isn't bad." (Hamilton)

Spinoffs: Linda Blair, who scared the pants off a generation of moviegoers with her role in "The Exorcist," told a Los Angeles radio station that she's got a sitcom in development. "Apparently, she turned in a pilot script that had the producers' heads spinning." (Ira Lawson)

Role Call: Morgan Freeman will play the role of an older Nelson Mandela in an upcoming movie. "Seeking someone with experience to portray his year in jail, the younger Mandela will be played by Robert Downey Jr." (Jerry Perisho)

Is That Clear?: Sunday marks the launch of digital TV signals and high-definition television. "You know what that means to you and me? Prime-time sitcoms still won't be funny." (Perisho)

Woody Woes: "In a recent interview, Woody Allen said Mia Farrow is an unfit mother to her adopted children. Woody went on to say, 'As far as I know, she's not interested in dating any of them.' " (Conan O'Brien)

CHuBS: CHiPS is back on the air with the original stars reprising their roles 15 years later. "However, though they will still call Erik Estrada 'Ponch,' they won't be spelling it that way." (Gary Easley)

He's All Bills: Bill Gates turned 43 this week. "When asked if he did anything special for his birthday, Gates said, 'Just the usual, I took 1,000 of my closest friends out for a prime rib dinner and then bought them each a car for dessert.' " (Mark Efman)

All Hot Air: Macy's is adding three new balloons to its Thanksgiving Day Parade, but will deflate five others. "Don't worry, kids, the Willard Scott balloon stays." (Mark Wheeler)

Spooky Thoughts: "Do something really scary this Halloween. Take the bus!" (Kenny Noble Cortes)

* SEND US A LINE: Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Life & Style, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.

Advertisement
Los Angeles Times Articles
|
|
|