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Laugh Lines

April 09, 1999

Peace Work: Rejecting a cease-fire proposal for Kosovo, President Clinton said, "We will not accept a phony peace." " 'Bad enough we got a phony marriage, we gotta draw the line somewhere.' " (Jay Leno)

Campaign Hopes: Experts in Baltimore say they've isolated a gene that can grow bone and cartilage. "GOP presidential candidate Lamar Alexander has hired them to see if they can find a gene that manufactures charisma." (Bob Mills)

Moving On: Dennis Rodman and Carmen Electra are getting divorced. "What? No! If those two devoted, well-adjusted kids can't make it, what chance do the rest of us have?" (Alex Kaseberg)

On the Road Again: Bob Dylan and Paul Simon said they'll be touring together this summer. "Actually, Paul said they're touring. We're not exactly sure what Bob said." (Daily Scoop)

*

The Essential

David Letterman

Rejected "Star Wars" characters:

10. Oprah the Winfrey.

9. 10-10-321, the Telephone Droid.

8. Tae Bo.

5. Bobadan Milosevic.

4. R2-Deepak Chopra.

2. Obi Wan Jacobi and Meyers.

1. Star Jones.

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.

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