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Laugh Lines

April 12, 1999

Off the Campaign Trail: Republican presidential candidate George W. Bush announced that his dad is going to start campaign fund-raising for him. "Meanwhile, Republican candidate Dan Quayle announced that his dad is going to start letting him use the riding lawn mower." (Conan O'Brien)

Way Off the Campaign Trail: Tabloids say there are photos of George W. Bush dancing nude on a bar. "This is not good for Bush to be seen flip-flopping this early in the campaign." (Leno)

A Different Campaign Trail: It's been reported that China's intelligence chief secretly funneled $300,000 to President Clinton's reelection campaign. "So that's what Clinton means by urging China to support democratic elections." (Daily Scoop)

While We're on the Subject: The Chinese premier is visiting the U.S. "He's going to do the usual tourist things. He'll stop in New Hampshire to buy some presidential candidates for the kids." (Argus Hamilton)

On the Big Screen: In theaters is "The Out-of-Towners," starring Steve Martin and Goldie Hawn. "It's about a husband and wife who travel to the city and then become stranded when they lose all their money at the gas pump." (Steve Voldseth)


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