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Section Gee! : LAUGH LINES

April 16, 1999

Trying Times: An Arkansas judge ruled President Clinton was in contempt. "Clinton said today they may plea-bargain the contempt charge down to 'smug arrogance.' " (Jay Leno)

Trying Times II: "Clinton was so upset he canceled his 4 o'clock intern." (David Letterman)

More Trying Times: He could face disbarment because of the decision. "Clinton no longer a lawyer? Whew, you thought his popularity rating was high now." (Leno)

We Couldn't Resist: Scientists say they're trying to clone Rhesus monkeys in an effort to provide a genetically identical supply of animals for research. "The clones would be reproduced from tiny bits of the existing monkeys' DNA, also known as Rhesus pieces." (Ira Lawson)


The Essential

David Letterman

Things overheard at Hugh Hefner's birthday party:

10. "What do you give the man who's had everyone?"

5. "Someone come quick, the president's stuck in the grotto!"

2. "What a great gift--monogrammed Viagra!"

1. "I'm only here for the articles."

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