Coping with children who have mental, emotional and behavioral disorders is not easy for parents. In addition to facing the stigma of mental illness, they also struggle to meet the overwhelming needs of their children, many of whom are violent and out of control.
And they are burdened with deciphering various medications, maneuvering through the county's mental-health system and fighting for special-education services. A child's emotional or behavioral disorders often affect marriages, siblings and jobs.
Ellen and Norm Linder's son Marcus, now 24, was diagnosed with serious behavioral disorders at age 6. At 14, he was placed in Camarillo State Hospital because Linder and her husband couldn't control his behaviors, and couldn't stay awake all night to monitor him. He ran away frequently, committed minor crimes and once chased their daughter with a butcher knife.
But when her son was hospitalized, Linder struggled with feelings of guilt and loss.
"There was an empty place at the dinner table, an empty bed, an empty room and an empty feeling," she said.
And she felt like she didn't have anyone to go to for help. That is why she and her husband in 1991 decided to form United Parents, a support group for parents of children with mental-health problems.
"These families just can't handle the stress and the strain," Linder said. "There really needs to be support available for them 24 hours a day."
In addition to weekly meetings, United Parents hopes to raise awareness of mental illness in children and adolescents.
The organization provides parental training and advocacy and has a resource library at its Moorpark office. It also offers a respite care program, Family United Network, to give parents a break from their disturbed children.
The program matches a trained care worker with the family of an emotionally disturbed child and provides at-home supervision 20 hours a month.
Earlier this month, the program received the first "I Care" award from the Ventura County Child Abuse Prevention Council.
"Parents get so stressed out," Linder said. "So by giving them a break, we are hopefully preventing child abuse."
Gina, whose 11-year-old son suffers from several mental and emotional disorders, said the respite care she received every Saturday night was a godsend. "I looked forward to Saturday nights like you wouldn't imagine," Gina said.
