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Aleck

These Ideas Are Truly Alarming

July 06, 1999

Question from June 29:

What should come with an alarm?

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People who are clueless should have a blinking light on the tops of their heads. It would save so much time and frustration!

--KATHY JAMES

Cypress

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Men. When a woman confesses her feelings to her date and wants to know how he feels about her, a verbal alarm sounds: "Please back away from the man. You are becoming too close."

--STEPHANIE WALLACE

Rancho Palos Verdes

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Jerry Falwell's mouth.

--MICHAEL SCHLESINGER

Sherman Oaks

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The alarm of the future: A car alarm that rings in the person who owns the car and not at the car itself. An improvement would be a remote control that would create a disturbance to the owner and not the entire neighborhood.

--DON MADDOX

Tarzana

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I would buy a refrigerator with an alarm in it that when opened . . . played loud, obnoxious music! That would surely deter me from visiting the fridge.

--DI CARTER, Beverly Hills

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Calista Flockhart Refrigerator: Alarm blares if fridge has not been opened in three days.

--MARK MILLER, Los Angeles

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Diapers! A soft alarm for wet only and a major shriek alarm for (to be polite) a real stinker!

--ARLYNE SHLOSBERG

Sylmar

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Livin' La Vida LocAlarm--blares when hip-swivel RPM reaches the danger zone, to the title tune of course.

--LINDSAY NAYTHONS

Los Angeles

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An alarm should go off every time a dog owner doesn't pick up Fido's mess. I'm tired of finding these "presents" on my front lawn--or on the bottom of my shoe."

--BETSY BURNS, Van Nuys

Question for July 6:

The usual suspects--Can you spell soda?--sold ads during the Women's World Cup. But one company, producer of feminine hygiene products, dazzled us with ads as well. Which companies should sign up for the next women's games?

Send replies of 25 words or fewer to Smart Aleck, SoCal Living, The Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053, or e-mail socalliving@latimes.com. Include your name and hometown.

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