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Laugh Lines

July 06, 1999

Now, This Might Hurt: Doctors recently voted to form a union. "This despite the fact that if you picket it won't heal." (Michael Feldman)

The Good Humor Folks: The 18th international Humor Conference was convened in Oakland. "The agenda included a special Dan Quayle Appreciation Dinner." (Daily Scoop)

Silly Science: According to a study, vigorous sex can cause temporary blindness. "See, that's why guys don't call the next day--they can't find the phone." (Andrew Wisot)

*

The Essential

David Letterman

McDonald's safety hazards:

10. Sign in restroom: "Employees must wash hands in customers' soft drinks."

7. Those promotional cartons of "Tarzan"-style unpasteurized milk.

6. Mislabeled cups that read, "This coffee is cool enough to pour directly into your lap."

5. Hand dryers in bathrooms powerful enough to blow flesh off fingers.

3. That "fish" in the fish sandwiches? Meow.

2. Hamburglar drugs customers, transports them to dingy Mexican hotel room and steals their kidneys.

1. McBeehives!

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.

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