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Laugh Lines

July 09, 1999

Begin the Countdown: U.S. and British space experts believe China may launch a manned spacecraft as early as next spring. "Or as soon as their spies figure out how to steal the secret formula for Tang." (Bob Mills)

What Luck: A 21-year-old from Minnesota was the sole winner of the $150-million Powerball lottery. "First, Jesse Ventura; now her--the state's full of longshot winners." (Daily Scoop)

One for the Books: President Clinton's birthplace was named a historic landmark. "Just like the thousand or so other places that say: The president slept here." (Zack Taylor)

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The Essential

David Letterman

Rejected questions on the U.S. citizenship exam:

9. How soon can you begin pitching for the Yankees?

8. If all the good states are full, would you be willing to live in Delaware?

6. Name the one state in which Bill Clinton has not been sued.

4. Name the American broadcaster who looks like an owl.

3. You're not going to sell our nuclear secrets to China, are you?

1. Zachary Taylor: U.S. president or one of those kids on "Home Improvement"?

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.

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