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Laugh Lines

July 12, 1999

On the Campaign Trail . . . We Think: New Yorker magazine reports that after he leaves office, President Clinton may run for the Senate. "That's a switch. It seems like only yesterday that he was running from the Senate." (Argus Hamilton)

Changing Channels: Starting this month, half of all new TVs will be built with a V-chip to help parents filter out inappropriate programs. "That's not to be confused with the Aunt Bee-chip, which only filters out reruns of 'The Andy Griffith Show.' " (Daily Scoop)

We Apologize in Advance: Egg safety measures were announced last week. "Those who sit on a wall must wear a harness to prevent any great falls." (Daily Scoop)

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The Essential

David Letterman

Signs your kids are going to a New York City school:

10. Entire student body ties for last place in spelling bee.

9. Math homework always seems to be about prisoners trading cigarettes.

4. That cultural field trip to see the new Adam Sandler movie.

1. Thinks E=MC2 is Hammer's old name.

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.

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