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Laugh Lines

May 05, 1999

Hold Your Fire: Jesse Jackson negotiated the release of American POWs in Belgrade. "It's not surprising Slobodan Milosevic was willing to listen to Jackson. He's so open with other ethnic groups." (Dennis Miller)

On the Front Line: More than 600,000 refugees have fled Kosovo, and hundreds of thousands more are homeless. "But on the bright side, Richard Gere is in town to sign head shots." (Jon Stewart)

In the War Room: NATO ordered a $70,000 conference table. "The table is so strong, it can stand on its own without any U.S. involvement." (Joe Kevany)

Happy Birthday: Radio's Casey Kasem turned 67 on Tuesday. "Up a notch from last week at 66." (Dennis Miller)


The Essential David Letterman

Other death-defying stunts Robbie Knievel won't perform:

9. Moving show from NBC to CBS.

8. Screwing up Oprah Winfrey's lunch order.

6. Spending a week in glass coffin with nothing but a Walkman and 'N Sync tape.

3. Trying to cut in line for "Star Wars" tickets.

1. Parachuting off mountain of unsold copies of "Monica's Story."

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